non update

It’s been a rough while.

While it hasn’t been a rough while since July, when I last posted, the last few weeks have taken their toll.  I’m afraid this post is only a pointer to Quarter Rest so that anyone stopping by here knows what’s up.

I am around.  I do want to post about little things that have gone on – dreams, reiki, my first dumb dinner – and I will.  Later.

First, I need to rest and get some space between me and the intensity of the last couple of weeks.  Then I can post some things properly.  Late, but properly.

summer’ll do that, i guess

The season is outside.  Plants.  Animals.  Oceans and rivers.  Weather.

Everything has been so much more about the physical for me lately.  I’ve been aware of the changes in wind and humidity, my herbs and flowers, the crows and finches, even the ants.  My own dog and cat, the neighborhood cats and the ferns and berries.  I still couldn’t name all the birds, plants and trees to save my life but I recognize a lot more of them, now.

I promised back in the spring that I would go share a snack in the nearby woods and I, to my shame, have yet to do exactly that, though I have visited the spot a few times without staying long.  This Friday, again, will be another prime opportunity to take at most an hour of my time to go rest and visit.

With the state I’ve been in, that will be well worthwhile.

it’s that warm, tingly feeling. or serious nerve damage

Reiki’s been a big deal again, lately.

I got to a share a week and a half ago and the whole thing seems to be back with a vengeance.  At the share, it seems I had tonnes of great energy.  Since then, aside from the usual toddler bumps and bruises and the arthritic cat, I’ve worked with three different people with three very different, emergent needs over the past week.  And, to hear them talk after, they were all very positively affected.

The first was able to ground and centre herself after a few very rough days during which a shortage of supplements and an excess of unfortunate circumstances propelled her far away from herself.  She’s very sensitive to others’ energies to begin with, so I’m not too surprised that she took well to reiki, but I am surprised that it seemed to help as well as it did, in light of where she was coming from.  The energy was being pulled from me before I even started. I essentially had to tell her she was going to get a treatment and begin because, really, it had already begun. My hands were hot and full of pins and needles.  Even my feet were tingling.  She felt a great deal of heat, some pressure and a strong sense of sinking right into the floor.

The second received a little temporary relief from a frozen shoulder and slept better than he had in a long time.  He went into a meditative state or trance (he calls it power napping) as he often does and, though he often finds himself travelling through air or sea, he made a trip that he’s never made before – as fog, down a local river.  I also ended up in a meditative state this time – taking cues, perhaps? – and saw various flashes of wagon wheels and spokes.  I have no meaning for this yet, but am filing it away for future reference…!  I felt mild tingling and heat, and accurately located the problem spot in the correct shoulder.  He felt very relaxed afterward.

The third was having chronic jaw problems.  I concentrated entirely on her head and jaw, but ended with her feet to make sure she stayed grounded.  While my sense of the energy wasn’t nearly as strong as it was for the other two, her reaction to it was the strongest (I’m going to try and confirm this through a legitimate third party – sisters are great sources!).  She felt her own pins and needs all through out her body and, at one point, felt as though liquid were coming from one of her ears on the side that causes her the most trouble with her jaw.  I think I felt a blockage give way on that same side.

I’m not sure what’s up with all this tingling.  Perhaps that little attunement at the share opened up a whole new access for me or perhaps I’m better able to work with the energies after a few acupuncture treatments and continued attempts to get my liver back in shape.  Whatever it is, something has shifted and I’m good with it.

And I’m eyeing a portable massage table…

endings, and a kick in the ass

I tried to get to a full moon gathering last week and got lost.  I’ve promised to take coffee in the forest and have yet to do so.  A local shop is closing its doors this weekend and it’s going to be a very strange to know that it is no longer there.  And the huge holly at the end of street has been pared down to a few leaves at ground level.

But, along with a couple of bookshelves (which will be off-gassing incense for months – something I’m perfectly happy about, but the SigOther, not so much!) I picked up some last minute – seriously last minute – stones today.  I have set the date and time for a small solstice gathering at my place and may even show up at another earlier in the day.

Things are ending.  Things are renewed.  Hardly profound – right up there with shit happens – but, really, it’s the basis of everything and I might as well at least get that straight in my head before trying to dig any deeper.

laws of attraction

After 34 years of the occasional tension headache, readily relieved by a single, average pain reliever, I’ve started having migraines.

So I, of course, start googling.

I’ve always been a believer in acupuncture, I’ve just never had cause to make use of it before; I do now.

But, it’s the results that came up for aromatherapy that took me back a moment.  I have been practically addicted to mint since I was old enough to know what it was.  But in the last little while, I have been ending up with mint, rosemary, eucalyptus and lavender…everything.  Deodorant, dish washing soap, teas, lotion, never mind essential oils.  My brain knew what it needed.

My friend has just gone through an intense medical imaging session so her docs could get a good look at her brain and this radically altered her treatment plan for her conditions.  And her new, medically authorized plan very closely approximates her previous self-medicating habits.

Her brain knew what it needed.

Okay, this isn’t a particularly spiritual or poetic post.  But it is leaning toward intuition, listening and awareness.  Now, if I listen a little more, perhaps I already know not only how to help alleviate my migraine, but how to prevent another.

I don’t really get “subtle”

I’m not the sharpest crayon in the box when it comes to grasping nuances and small fluctuations, even when I’m looking for them.  I often require the giant 2×4 upside the head to fully appreciate the suggestion and affirm the validity of my interpretation.

So when a Level 2 reiki class was offered to me, I waffled.

Am I ready?  Can I commit to this?  Is this a now kind of thing?

I readily ignored the fact that less than a week before I was rearranging our spare room to add another bookshelf and tidy up for guests when I thought: you know, if I ever get to the point where I start doing reiki for other people, this would make an awesome treatment room.

Once the class was offered, I meditated a little on the notion of taking this class and slept through the night peacefully.  No bizarre dreams.  No bolt of lightning.

The following night, I discovered a woman I’ve been taking a class with obtained her level 2 several years ago and she treated the instructor’s stomach ache at the end of class.  The three of us discussed reiki for a good half an hour and I offered to bring in information on a regular share in the area.  Yet, still, when I went to bed that night I wondered if I would if I would find an answer and what form it would take…

And at that point I smacked myself upside the head.  If I’d had a 2×4 handy, I’d've used that.

How much more coincidence can I ask for?

I’ll be signing up.

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To put this in print before I forget: research more on Bran. (and, no, not all from Wikipedia!)

when the bug bites

I dragged my family We had the chance to go see Under Heaven’s Dome at the Bloedel conservatory this past weekend, put on by the Vancouver Cherry Blossom Festival.  A local composer had put nine haiku from past festivals to music, and mine was one of the nine!  It was a very, very cool thing to get to hear my few words sung and interpreted by both the singer and the composer.

Being in that space got my poor brain churning, though, so that evening when I saw that there was a 48 hour poetry contest (and I now had 6 hours left), I jumped on the bandwagon.  I wracked the poor aforementioned brain and managed to come up with a piece I rather like.  I edited and made my husband check to make sure that I had used all ten of the required words before hitting the send button on my email.   (I’ll post it once the results of the contest have been announced.)

Every now and then I’m reminded that I write (outside of sporadic blogging).  Every now and then I’m reminded that some others see merit in the things that I write.  And it prompts me to actually write down the things that go through my head instead of just acknowledging the neat turn of phrase and moving on to what to have for supper.

It’s a good thing.  I’ll let you know if anyone liked the contest piece.

it was Ostara

Hope the spring equinox marked a good change for you – it’s definitely feeling much lighter around here already!

I was able to have dinner with two friends on Friday night and discuss all manner of everything, including some books that might be of interest to me that one of the girls brought for me to peruse.  It was such a great way to spend an evening – able to talk about all manner of everything when everyone is coming from a similar head space.

Though it must be said that my headspace has been anything but normal these past few weeks: the result of general weirdness in the world, my desparate need of a massage and a recent migraine.  But, the evening went well despite my poor, beleaguered brain.

Last night was the official ADF ritual and it was really good energy, good people and a good night.  There were so many more people there than I had seen before, including some out of town guests and some brand new faces.  I even felt great afterward (I always do, but really wasn’t expecting it, being in post-migraine exhaustion).  I had a chance to invite the nature spirits, for which I was very grateful, as I was thinking of before the rite.  Even though, in my last minute secondment, I had to stumble through the pre-fab spiel and stutter a thanks at the end, it was a good thing for me to do.

Among other events of the night, one of my friend’s books that I was interested in made a valiant effort to leap out at me off the host store’s bookshelves.  I had meant to ask after the book, but hadn’t yet approached the owner to ask if she carried the series.  And there one was.

So I bought it.

I’m not going to question that!

I came home happy.  The tiny glass of mead may have played a small role in that, but it was a whole lot more about all of those who attended.

my memory ain’t all that good

Perhaps it’s my recent bouts of calendar and Palm Pilot dependency, but I’ve been reminded that my memory really isn’t the best thing to rely on.  So why is it that I haven’t been journalling everything that I’ve been doing, even if it’s only a short meditation and small offering?  Why do I not bother to record my tarot and rune readings?

Part of it is the difficulty in putting the moments – even the feeling of the readings – into words.  It just never translates quite the same.  But that is something to be worked on.

Part of it seems like it’s not quite right to actually put it down on paper.  Some things should be left as they are without the chronic review and reconsideration.

Part of it is sheer laziness.  I tend to sit before my altar in the evenings and, when I’m done, there are still so many other things to do that taking the time to spell out my actions seems painfully redundant.

But I now acknowledge that I need to get back on track with that.  It’s the only way to track my growth in this, my stages and remind myself of my mistakes and successes.  Because, in a very short time, I’m not likely to clearly remember any of it if I don’t.

but is that a good thing?

I tried reiki on my pre-school aged daughter this evening – she fell earlier today and scraped her knuckles – while we were watching tv.  I convinced her to let me cradle her hands loosely, without touching the red areas.  She asked what I was doing, so I told her I was trying reiki to see if it might help her hands feel better.

She thought about that for a moment before telling me: it tickles, I think.