not yet

My most recent lucid-ish dream found me in a darkened room, empty except for a small dark table with a large, dark wooden bowl on it and the 3 or 4 other people (women?) who were in the room with me.  I didn’t get to see any of them (what with all the dark) but knew they were there. It was peaceful.

In the bowl were numerous pale balls - smooth and definitely finished, but not glossy or lacquered - that reminded me of pine.  They were the only items in the room that were clearly visible: warmly lit.  They were, in and of themselves, nothing profound, but they held the quiet … attention? curiosity? judgement?… of all of us.

I asked when I had made these (balls/spheres).  There was a small sense of pride or achievement attached to them, the more I studied them, but there was mostly the honest curiosity that I had forgotten when I had done this.  There was a sense that these items were vaguely nice.  Pleasant.  Good.  But they weren’t anything obviously profound and certainly weren’t treated as such.

And the separate part of me was surprised that I knew I had made them.

I was informed that I would make them in a few years.  It was definitely a woman who answered.

And the separate part of me took a moment to process that (wait.. what?!), but within the dream it was accepted.  Of course - that’s why I couldn’t remember when - it hadn’t happened yet.  Whatever was or will be in that bowl was as it should or will be.  In a few years.  And it was all good.

I’m not even going to pretend to have any idea what this was about.  I’ll get to something in a few years that will be good.  Something quiet and unassuming and simple that I’ll be able to feel good about having been a part of.  And, in the mean time, I’ll have recorded this so that I can look back on it.

so much for myrtle

It’s as I was beginning to suspect.

I’m not going to be (easily) able to get a Myrtle Tree.  And I had decided that I wanted one.  I finally asked at the garden store today and it seems that Myrtle just isn’t hardy enough for the climate around here.    The specialist at the store said that he did have one and it died its first winter here and was only now, over a year later, just coming back.

I didn’t ask where he got his…

But the garden store did have what they called a Myrtle Leaf Holly, but it doesn’t look like any of the photos that I was able find online, so I won’t link.  Wiki doesn’t have much, either.  It was a tall, narrow plant with small, dark, waxy and still spiky leaves and there was not much branching.  I liked it.  My husband, rightly, has concerns around our pets and toddler and poisonous shiny red berries.  So, the holly tree stayed at the store.

For now.

I may just have to buy some myrtle tea and be done with it; the tree remains elusive.

go sit in a corner and think about what you’ve done

Have I written before of my poetry v. photography theory and the appeal of each for me?

For me:

A poem - in my case, almost never longer than the page of a notebook - is a description of a single moment, a single feeling.  No explanation, just presentation.

A photo is a visual moment.  The stilling of motion and emotion.  The lighting and the framing, as though seeing the photographer’s field of vision at that very second and only that very second.  Why they were there and why they chose to focus on that thing may or may not be apparent.  Or even relevant.

Both are left open to interpretation and personalization so that the viewer can place themselves in that visual or descriptive place.

Each is a meditation.

And, having completed the first of three sessions of a meditation intro class, I may now have a little more to work with.  And to work toward.

share and share alike

I had the chance to attend my first Reiki share last night.

I have had only the briefest experiences with healing touch before (and, really, they were rather uneventful) and small successes, as I viewed them, with meditation.

I’d like to think that last night went well.  I’d like to think that I had moments where I recognized the flow of energies as both patient and practitioner.  I’d like to think there was some benefit to myself and the others in attendance.  So, despite my horoscope in one local rag yesterday, that’s what I’ll believe.  (my self denial won’t alter a concept of reality??  Isn’t that how denial usually works?)

I, unfortunately, don’t have time to analyze it death at the moment, but I do plan to attend several meditation sessions being put on by the same instructor over the next few weeks.

And I might just be attending a few more Reiki shares.

the day before a holiday day leaves me with a little time to myself

I had the entire coffee room to myself this morning.  No people, no newspaper, no radio or tv.  That left me with 20 minutes of under-caffeinated time for my poor little brain to start churning.  This is such a rough free write, but it’s the first thing I’ve written in a long time.  There are parts of it I quite like, but it’s very scattered now and will need a lot of work.

A little background:  the room is on the 15th floor and has large picture windows that allow for a 180 degree view of the city: west to the ocean, north over the downtown core and east to the suburbs.  It’s a gorgeous spot.

No, really.

back from the Island, waiting to go back again

We just got back today from a quick trip to Vancouver Island and I could have spent the rest of the month there.  I was only half joking when I threw a few real estate magazines at my husband at breakfast this morning.

The trees, the ocean, the creeks, the wildlife and birds, the falls, the rock formations.  I swear I saw faces in the cliffs at the base of a set of falls (it was getting dark, so my photos are fuzzy, but they are still visible - watch flickr in the next few days).  The trees seemed to each have their own personality and, with the final arrival of a little summer sun, the lighting everywhere was amazing.

I also ended up with a few new stones (carnelian, blue lace agate and citrine).  In addition to the desire to go back.

catch up

Oh, it’s been a while and things have gone on.

I’ve been recording my dreams as I remember them - some of them seeming far too blatant and others far too cryptic, despite their ding moments ringing with authority, but devoid of epiphany - and I seem to be getting much better at recalling them.  Or most of them, anyway…

I have managed to notice that, over the past few months, those people who have popped into my head for no reason, have shown up in some form or another.  This isn’t uncommon, but it does always kind of strike me as strange when it happens.  I have no idea if the reappearance of old friends and contacts is something I’m encouraging, simply aware of or making more of than is there.  Regardless, it’s good to hear from them and about them.

Not enough coincidences for you?  In the same week that I had a job interview (didn’t get the job, but got some great contacts) and got some great news for my daughter, I heard from a local composer about using one of my poems as part of a much larger piece she is working on.  (I have no idea if it’s considered bad form to link up to her and the poem at the moment, but I will when it’s all said and done.)  Sweet…

Lastly, I finally realised that it’s spring and hit the garden store: welcome to my five flowering plants, bay tree, smudge sage, basil, rosemary, chamomile, lavender and thyme.  Yes, I’ll add them to my Plants Page soon!

aware

I got to take the dog out for a quick walk today - something that usually falls to my husband - and we didn’t even really make it around the block properly.  Our dog is getting older and his eyesight and hearing are both failing him so he likes to stick close to home.

But it was so worth the trip.

As soon as stepped outside, a sparrow hawk (looking an awful lot like this one - I do know better than to leave the house without my camera, honest, but I did it anyway…. so I leave you with this shot from someone else) landed on the tree directly in front of me and sat there for a solid 15 or 20 seconds before flying off again.  I have heard their piercing whistles for the past seven years, since we moved here, but this is the first time I have seen one close enough to get a good look.

Further down the block, as my dog chose the way, I was drawn to a small flowering weed with purple leaves and tiny purple flowers - again, damn the missing camera! - and stepped off the trail to take in a resting spot and find a holly tree.  Finally, a pause at a tree steps from returning home brought me nose to nose with a ladybug.

And a fifteen minute obligatory dog walk became a tour of my dog’s haunts and the chance to see four things that made me smile.

Even if I didn’t have my camera.

LunaNiña.com | Unconscious Mutterings

LunaNiña.com | Unconscious Mutterings

1. Questioning :: curious
2. Immunity :: sanctuary
3. Online dating :: distanced
4. Calcium :: chalk
5. Dressing :: vinegar
6. Bucket :: buckwheat
7. Stain :: red wine
8. Advanced :: strode forward
9. Dramatic :: flair
10. Self-medication :: preemptive

Oh, I had intentions of doing this last night but, when I realised I was so sick that I was unlikely to go to work today, I had every intention of muttering earlier today.  But I slept.  And tomorrow, if I am well enough to go out to my class in the evening, I am well enough to go to work during the day.  That left tonight to mutter here, and here so here it is!

Wind Moon April 20

Wind Moon April 20

“…It’s a time to welcome new beginnings, and do magic related to conceiving new ideas and projects. What do you want to see taking root and growing in your life?…”

Some times it’s good to get realigned and reminded that unsettled days and turmoil can be opportunity in disguise.