all’s quiet on the western front

Yep, that’s me.  No new poems.  No new epiphanies.  I’ve been feeling more connections – primarily with nature spirits – around me , coming up with the occasional line snippet in my head to write from (note to self: remember filtering my breath through the smell of skin) and contemplating setting up an etsy account, despite the crafty part that would be involved.  I’ll be attending a spring equinox ritual and, having felt a pull, I’ve promised to sit before my altar and make a prayer offering tonight.

Yes, folks, that counts as the first time that I’ve referred to my altar as my altar , instead of my as close as I have to an altar, or my almost altar…

Maybe I’ll start singing chants at work now … heh.

lull

Even in my reading, I’ve been slacking a wee bit as of late.  Though, having transitioned to Celtic Wonder Tales, I’m finally able to view Celtic mythology as mythology instead of stories.  Yes, that means it’s not the best writing, technically speaking, but it seems I need that tone of voice to put me in the and now we are talking about gods and goddesses instead of some stuff some old dead dudes did and, oh yeah, they might have had a different sense of the space-time continuum.

(because, if you can’t bring Star Trek into it…!)

I’m practicing Reiki, I’m feeling connected, I’m thinking about my god and godesses in passing each day.  I feel the need to do something, but I feel the need to feel a little better physically then I do at the moment before trying to have a meaningful conversation.  I also intend to smudge the house.  It’s spring.  It’s never been done.  And there are several residual reasons to do it.

So, there.  It’s in print.  Smudging will be next.

haiku to you too!

I was contacted a while ago by a local composer asking if she could use a haiku of mine:  I’d entered in a contest for the Vancouver Cherry Blossom Festival  and come in as one of the many honorable mentions and she was checking in with everyone to ask permission to use their poems in a larger piece.

Turns out this piece is all part of the Vancouver Cherry Blossom Festival and the performance of this work will be in April!

How sweet is that?

(pssst.  I also got a submission in on time for this year’s haiku competition.  Wish me luck!)

Imbolc

Happy (only barely belated) Imbolc!

I was able to attend the ADF ritual over the weekend and I managed to remember that I do, peripherally enjoy that sort of thing.  It is awesome to have that interaction (albeit brief) with the community, participate, learn, connect with a god or goddess I might not normally, see if anyone interesting shows up and sing a few chants.  But it also reminds me that I probably won’t be officially joining ADF soon.

I’m just not ready for Organized.  I need to check in on it every now and then (say… no more than eight times a year?) but I need a little more fluidity in my dealings.  I also have my Egypt connection that I don’t think fits in the Indo-European mandate.  I could ask if there are work withs or work arounds… but I haven’t.

I still feel far more Druid than any other path.  If asked by a member of the general public, I would identify as pagan and, if pressed, readily admit to learning about Druidry.  But I’m not sure I feel qualified to call myself a Druid.  And that is the remaining appeal of the ADF – the dedicant program would give me something to show for it.

So, is a path a level of learning or a state of spirit?  In a shiny, happy (fluffy?) world, it might be the latter.  But, in my head, the former still plays a significant role.  So, I work on that.  Read.  Attend a few more rituals.

may the force be with me

Because if you can’t use it as a reason to reference Jedi superpowers, why bother?

I have now been officially attuned to Reiki.

It was a relatively uneventful procedure.  I mean, okay, energies moving around (nicely – no torrents) and it was all good.  But the meditation set up that we did must have put me in a good place for it; all went well.  Let me begin at the beginning:

We meditated to settle and open the heart chakra (visualised as a flower opening – mine was the fuzzy bud of a crocus that opened with purple and white petals).  We all (5 of us) continued to meditate, having set out intent and asked the help of any guides* as we saw fit, as the Attunement process began for those around us.

During this time I saw only shifting patterns of light behind my eyelids – intially a pink diamond, but softening into fuzzy yellow circles, arcs and the occasional angle.  These would expand or contract, be hollow or whole, and slide up or down my field of view.  My view would become darker or lighter.  I did feel a pull on my left ear, as though it were being drawn back, and an energy directly in front of me (when I knew the instructor was off to my right) as I felt a tap on the front on my left shoulder.

During the Attunement process was more of a void.  I felt only the energies: no lights, no sensations other than those of my hands being placed by the instructor.  Near the end, my palms felt a cool energy.  This surprised the hell out of me; any time I’ve felt anything participating in previous Reiki shares, the energy has been warm.

Immediately after the Attunement, I saw a pink triangle, and then it was back to the original light show for the rest of the time we spent meditating.  Right at the end, before we were brought back from our meditation, I saw a brighter blue/violet light – a spark, not a shape this time.

And that was it.  The deed is done and I now have to drink water like a camel planning a desert trek and eat absurdly well for the next few weeks.  Oh, and play with the Reiki!  There are two more classes and then we’re turned out into the big bad world to Reiki our own little aches and pains.  We can practice a little on family and friends as we’re comfortable, but aren’t sufficiently trained to justify offering treatments.  Fine by me – if this helps me and mine, then I get all I wanted out of it.

And, if nothing else, I can make more Star Wars references.

*I had a full, proper Reiki session on Thursday.  Since, that only seemed reasonable to know what a proper session was like instead of the 15-20  minutes one might get out of a Share, when three or four different people are working on you at once.  The full session was so  much more relaxing and rejuvenating.  One set of energies is so much less disruptive than trying to reconcile what’s going on with one leg while your opposite arm is feeling this and your head’s dealing with something else.  But, after, the practitioner (yes, also my instructor) asked if I had done any work with faeries.  (No, not worked with.)  She had felt four near me – three strongly and one less distinctly.  So, when it came to asking for support, I included in my request Khepri, Artemis and any others who might be with me.  So, I’m not sure who all showed up, but I’ll be thanking them later.

reiki – a start

That’s it.  I’ve signed up.  I’ve been invited to the online discussion group so that we can keep up with each other between classes.  I’ve sent my cheque in.

I’m taking the first level of reiki, starting this Saturday!

*****

And now for something completely different:  I did a small ritual on the weekend – loosely based on the Druid ones I’ve participated in, but much … uh… looser – in which I asked what, in light of all the reading I’m doing, the reiki class and meditation, am I missing?  What am I not paying attention to that can’t wait?

Cards say: protection  (Celtic Tree Oracle: Rowan)

The next day, after falling asleep contemplating pendants, smudging and a myriad of other things, I discovered that one of my rain boots has a split.

jasmine & dragons

I had the chance to meditate the other night, but only by leaving the house for a few hours and having someone talk me through it.

Okay, so that’ s not the only way I get to meditate, but it works better than a snatched five minutes when I’m depending on only myself to keep a bit of focus.

The first half of the session began with jasmine oils (mmmm… must start carrying my little jasmine plant around with me, now!) and a meditation.  A quick discussion break and we went into another meditation where we were to end up focussing on the question what is our essence/our true self? and to search for an image or abstract.  None of this mother/wife/accountant/doctor/jogger stuff.

What did I get?  The back coils or loops of a Chinese dragon. (or as it was put later: the non-business end of the dragon)  Vivid, rich green on a black background, near the top of my “field of vision”.  A drawing or painting of one – not the real, live thing.  Scales drawn in black, ridges on the back.  Serpentine.

So not expecting that.

We had time to ask for clarity (damn straight, I did!).  I saw a steep mountain peak and I was in motion around it.  Wind and peace.   I wasn’t near anyone or anything and I didn’t need to be.  Freedom.  I could go down and join in the fray, if I wanted to, and would handle whatever that interaction required, but I didn’t need to.  Confidence.  A little sense of fate and laissez-faire.

Interpret this as you will.  Here’s what I make of it so far:  I am not the one in front of the camera; I am behind the scenes – powerful scenes, but working in the back to help drive the front.  As such, I don’t have to face everything head on.  Somethings I can side step.  Readily.  Preferably.  No taking on what’s not mine.  No micro-managing.

In my poor brain’s need to interpret, the first part seems like it could be an answer to what is one’s essence and, the latter, like a Chicken Soup for the Vision spiel about how to get there.  And, truth be told, my poor brain is drawing on things that have occurred to me, in one form or another, at various times and that same poor brain ends up running into the whole chicken and egg scenario: were the interpretations built to suit the vision or was the vision built to suit the vestiges of those ideas floating around in my head?

Here’s the kicker:  It doesn’t matter.

Yeah, I can’t wrap my head around that one, either.  But I think it’s true.  I saw the images.  They were pleasant.  They made me think. They are now mulling or stewing or fermenting or whatever it is they do in the back recesses of my head.  They may offer thoughts of something completely different 6 months or a year from now and those, too, will be valid.

In the mean time, I will not be changing my name to Dragon’s Ass.  But I will give my jasmine a little extra lovin’.

it wasn’t in the stars – er, I mean weather

I tried.  I tried more than others (not that they should have risked themselves trying!), in this case.

Okay, so I only had to walk a block and a half instead of drive across the black ice laced city, but I made the effort to get to a reiki exchange yesterday.  I tore my eyes away from the inviting couch, I threw off the guilt of leaving a non-napping toddler with my husband and I stuffed my feet into my not-made-for-snow rainboots and headed out the door.  I prepared myself to be social and ask questions of people of whom I have otherwise been quietly observant and, with some of whom, I might not ordinarily socialize.   I made the trek along icy unshovelled paths and across slushy streets to be faced with a small sign:

reiki (1:30 – 4:30) cancelled due to snow

Okay, so I could have called in advance.

I slogged back home and took a few minutes to meditate while the little girl played peacefully in her room.  It wasn’t meant to be, yesterday.  Try again next month!

*****

cross posted on 43 things

it’s the way forward

I need to prepare for another ritual.

It occurred to me (it was made apparent to me) that, despite some meditation sessions and getting through my mythology readings, I haven’t really put a huge amount of premeditation into anything I’ve done recently.  This let me to ask (instead of randomly guess) if another ritual was in order and selecting Rad from my runes: travel, motion, the way forward.

I’m going to plan a bit, I’m going to leave it loose a bit.  I’m definitely going to cut any language that doesn’t flow naturally for me.  I’m going to simplify.  I’m going to make sure I don’t have to regroup because I forgot someone or some part.  Heck, I may even draft something on paper.

I’m not sure when this will actually happen, what with preparatory bit that I haven’t had time to do, but it is the way forward.

*****

As we’ve been rediscovering our office, I’ve reclaimed my writing desk and the wall above it that has photos of relatives – parents, grandparents and great grandparents – all in or near their wedding day.  I have an ancestral altar.  I now have reclaimed a space in front of it.

it’s official

The days are now getting longer.

I spent today at home: Watching the snow, baking cookies, working around the house, telling my daughter the names of the birds at our feeder and playing in the snow before sitting down for a supper of comfort food (seasoned with some found basil that was dried earlier this year and forgotten) that was lit – in part – by a lone candle.  We all sipped our age appropriate beverages out of wine glasses.  Because of all the snow today, we didn’t get out to do the special trips out that we had planned, but we found enough other things to do instead.

It was a regular day with extras.  It was the shortest day of the year and it was big on memories.

Happy solstice.